Lately, I’ve been working on directing kindness towards myself. It’s tough as I want to do it while also realizing how counterintuitive it sometimes feels.
If you have always thought highly of yourself and spoke confidently, this post may not be for you. For the rest of us, we can get very cozy with self-doubt and denigration, can’t we? Maybe it was modeled or other early circumstances caused us to believe we would always be lacking. Whatever the root cause, if this kind of negativity is not checked, it can lead to harmful thoughts and behaviors that affect joy in our life and relationships with others.
I was discussing with a friend recently when Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” This can be found in Mark 12. Jesus was asked which was the greatest commandment. He said the first is to love God with everything and the second was to love your neighbor. My friend and I feel neighborly love seems to be sorely lacking these days. One reason can be found within the commandment when Jesus notes that we must feel for others what we feel for ourselves. If we are unhappy, uncomfortable, or loathsome of who we are, we would be hard-pressed to encourage others.
The other side of this imbalance can be that you do treat others kindly while never giving yourself enough grace to breathe. We are with ourselves and our thoughts more than anyone else. It stands to reason that concerted effort should be put into what we say and think and whether our bodies are being fed a steady stream of hostility. Jesus demonstrated equality and balance in care for ourselves and those within our reach.
The Bible is replete with references to the power of our own words. (Some references include: Proverbs 18:21, Matthew 12:34-37, Proverbs 10:11, James 3:1-12.) With these things in mind, I wrote a short list of affirmations for myself. I have to be honest, the exercise at first seemed a little hokey. However, I realize that’s my nature once again trying to convince me that being intentionally kind to myself is silly or superfluous. It really isn’t.
In defiance to the influences that would rather I describe myself in the negative, I’m sharing my initial list with you. I chose to first list a personal “strength” and then a statement of how I benefit from that strength.
- I am strong. I have made it through a lot of hard things but still show up for myself.
- I am smart. I figure out good solutions that bring me peace.
- I am nurturing. I prioritize rest and make room for creativity.
- I am responsible. I make goals with plans to meet them.
- I am kind. I try not to harm others and apologize when I make mistakes.
- I am brave. I take risks to show love and be true to myself.
What would you write for yourself?
Raíces: Rooted in Faith, Familia, and Friendship 