Raíces: Rooted in Faith, Familia, and Friendship

I arrived at the police station and checked-in at the front desk.  I waited in the lobby just a few minutes until someone came to escort me back to the holding cell.

I walked through the common area and was led through a backdoor to a covered space and there she was behind bars.  She wouldn’t look at me. 

They told me her name was Missy.  She was found in front of a Walmart and after 30 days, no one had come to claim her.  She was up for adoption.

Opening the door of the kennel, the seven-month-old pitbull/lab mix walked around and barely acknowledged by presence.  I was told she was sweet and had not shown aggression to any of the staff that manned the kennels or the other dogs waiting to be placed.

I called her kindly and made kissing noises.  She darted an eye at me but continued to go about her business of walking the grassy area and staying close to the volunteer with whom she felt a little familiarity.

I was assured that she was playful and loved toys.  By way of example, I was handed a green tennis ball.  Immediately, Missy’s attention became laser-focused on me.  Definitely more on the ball in my hand.

She ran with all her puppy strength to catch the ball that I threw and brought it back to me to do it all over again.  After a year of looking for a good dog for our family, I prayed that I had found the one.

My girl will be 10 years old next month.  Some say the dog chooses you.  She remained extremely loving from the first day and learned to be expressive and completely trusting of us.  Thinking about everything we have experienced with her, I realized that if she was a person who could speak, she might have something to say about the life lessons I’ve collected in the last decade.

Even without words, I know she does communicate. Here’s a few things I’ve learned from Missy’s behavior.

Let someone come to your level before you lean on them.

The rescue staff gave me 3 days to be with her as a foster, hoping that I would “fail fostering” by fully adopting her instead.  When we got home, she was nervous.  I let her off the leash.  I sat on the floor and let her explore and acclimate herself.  I called her over and she would hesitantly approach, but wouldn’t linger.

One of the times she came to me, she was grateful for the attention but still looked down at the floor.  Until, after a few more minutes, she walked in front of me again.  She stopped as I sat cross-legged on the floor so that her body was parallel to mine and unexpectedly leaned her full weight on me.  My heart immediately melted because I knew she was acknowledging that she found me trustworthy.  The rest is foster-fail history

Her acceptance didn’t come when I came to the kennel, when I played with her or when I showed her the new home.  It was when I sat calmly in her space and let her do her thing that she finally felt that I could be her family.

Maintain your identity.

Due to her breed, Missy can look intimidating.  When other dogs are around, I know that she is unsure and that can make another dog jittery.  I also know that as soon as she knows there is no danger, she’s ready to play.  Sadly, many people don’t know that about her, so she didn’t get as many chances to play as she could have.

That said, the lesson I learn is: despite other people’s preconceived notions of you, maintain who you are.  They may be scared based on their own experiences that have nothing to do with you.  Most times, they are just plain wrong, and we should not carry that assessment.  Be like Missy, consistently ready to “play” with whoever comes next once you determine that they are not a threat. 

It’s okay to leave to a quiet place. 

Missy has always loved to engage with good natured people and dogs.  She, however, doesn’t appreciate intense attention or feeling trapped.  Either through dog-sitting or when children visit, I learned that if she is being chased maliciously, she hides.  She won’t even eat her food if it means she must share space with the perpetrator.  (I have learned to minimize these experiences for her because there is no need for her to be uncomfortable.) 

She wouldn’t bark or show any irritation but would quietly leave the room. I now always make sure she has access to a comfy quiet space where she will disengage and go to sleep.  I find it funny in a comforting way.  Missy will simply disappear if she doesn’t like the vibe without an announcement or stress.  That’ll preach.

Protect your environment and your family.  

A few years ago, we added a second dog to the family.  He is a much smaller breed. Missy was initially wary of Chris because he is very much a space invader.  She didn’t like his noise and hyperactivity so she would, again, hide.  Once she understood he wasn’t going anywhere, she came to tolerate his antics and greatly care for him.

Everyone who meets Missy agrees she is sweet as pie, gentle and loving.  In a decade, I’ve only every seen Missy exert dominance when it comes to our little guy.  If she hears him bark, she will calmly stay close by.  If he communicates anxiety, she’s right next to him creating a barrier between him and whatever is agitating him.  Twice, the situation became very distressing to Chris and she was ready to take-off.  In the first situation she tried knocking down a fence to get to him and the second time she bumped a much larger dog with her whole body.

Moral of the story: he may be a brat, but he’s my brat.  Missy lets him be and gives him space so she will not tolerate another dog encroaching upon him.  She doesn’t accept behavior from someone else that creates a stressful environment in the home or relationship where she maintains peace.

We feel so fortunate to have cared for Missy all this time and pray there is still some good time left.  We are grateful for her loving nature that has blessed our lives and brought about a calm we didn’t know was missing.