Raíces: Rooted in Faith, Familia, and Friendship

I’m a person who enjoys reflection.  Holiday seasons intensify this, for me.  During Thanksgiving, I count my blessings and give thanks to God for all of them.  I have my health, my family, a home and a warm bed.  I got good food and great friends, a steady job and a working vehicle. 

I read this Bible verse, and it reminded me that I need to be intentional about thanking the Lord for the tough times, too.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” James 1:2-3

When situations become tough and sorrow comes, I find it very difficult to be engulfed in “pure joy”.  There’s no way I’m elated in the bad times.  I’m feeling exhausted, betrayed, sad, abandoned.  I might experience anger, depression, and even humiliation.

How do I bridge the gap between the negativity I feel, and the joy laid out in the bible verse?

The Message version of this verse starts with “Consider it a sheer gift…” In considering something, I’m stopping to think about it. Really take account of it and identify its presence and impact.  Negative occurrences can be gifts when I consider the opportunities they provide me.

When I became ill with autoimmune diseases, this provided me with opportunities to learn about my body.  In these lessons, I found and continue to find better ways to support it.  I have become even more grateful for the seasons of good health in between flare-ups. 

When my father left our family, I was able to experience a lull in the abuse that he brought into our daily environment.  This made me realize that constant fear was not normal.  It also paved the way for a good man to come into our lives who modeled patience and unconditional love.

When my husband and I went through it in our marriage, it forced us to consider what it was we actually wanted out of our relationship.  It gave us the chance to get rid of nonsense and attempt to build something that could be imperfect but sturdy.

When we experienced financial hardship, it increased our creativity to meet the needs of our growing family. It stretched our skills into new areas, letting us know we were capable of doing something more. We began to understand that the investment of our time and money should reap rewards, not increase our burdens.

When friendships abruptly ended leaving me feeling abandoned, I had to process the impermanence of relationships.  It made me appreciate authentic friends even more and helped me to relieve the pressure I was putting on friendships in general. 

Life is GOOD.  But it is also gritty.  I am grateful for the grit. Grit can be defined as “small loose particles of dirt or sand”. 

My husband prefers not going to the beach because the feeling of being covered in sand is not pleasing to him.  The fact that the sandiness continues well after leaving the beach (in the car, in the bathroom) is a further deterrent.

It can be annoying when we feel dirty.  It’s uncomfortable when we have constant, little interruptions to the way we believe life should go.  Even after leaving a situation, the residue can follow us, and we find evidence of where we’ve been everywhere.  How often, after experiencing a bad time, did I want to simply forget what had happened?  Few of us want to keep reliving the moments that beat us up.

There is a second definition of grit that I want to add to our discussion; “courage and resolve, strength of character”.  We may have found the intersection of joy and trials that the book of James was trying to illustrate to us in the beginning of this post.

Everything we go through has the potential to produce in us courage, resolve, and strength of character.  I don’t know how you feel about it, but I want more than anything to be a strong person who demonstrates some of the best qualities a person can possess.  These characteristics are rarely bestowed upon us freely.  We must forge them in the fire of life to take hold of them.

The “residue” of unpleasant situations is a way to help us remember that we are not what we’ve been through.  It’s a reminder that even though we hurt, something good came out of it.  Like the altars that the Hebrew people built in the desert after being delivered, reminders of the trials are touchstones to give worship back to the One who brought us out of it.  It provides the moment to say: Thank God I made it out of that one alive.

This Thanksgiving, I will certainly count my blessings.  The good things God has given me are GREAT.  However, I’m making room at my table for all the messed-up stuff that has occurred, too. If I ever think that I am a good person, it’s definitely attributed more to the times in life that “cleaned my clock”. 

The grittiness of life is never-ending.  I don’t believe there’s a moment where we can finally say, “I figured this thing out and I can enjoy the rest of my life uninterrupted.”  The true blessing of grit is expecting it. It’s accepting it as it comes with grace and, like a clam, taking that bit of sand and making it into a pearl.  Standing fully in who God made me to be means embracing the good, bad and ugly, knowing that because of it all, I can always achieve something good despite difficulty.