It Wasn’t All Bad

Posted on by Rachel Maldonado
“The Poky Little Puppy“ by Janette Sebrey Lowrey, Illustrated by Gustaf Tenggren

When I’m getting to know someone on a deep level, I often mention that my childhood was dark.  I’m not sure why I lead with that.  Partly it’s because, chronologically, this is what shaped some of my formative years.  There is also something within me that wants to communicate that I may not be “all there” and this could be a reason why.  You know, I must give the people a fair warning.

Lately, I have been digging deep into some of the trauma I experienced all those years ago. Even things that I thought were released are being reviewed and inspected because I want to continue to be the healthiest version of myself. However, I was laying in bed thinking about all I had experienced and some of the good times in my childhood came to mind. I willed myself to find as many positive memories as possible and make a list because I realized I had never done that.  Here are a few.

My biological father was a good cook.  He exposed us to seafood.  I can remember the first time I tried clams with ketchup.  At the time, it felt like chewing a tongue, but I can laugh at it now.  Little Rachel was looking for a place to spit that bad boy up really quick!  I did like crab, though. We were taught how to open it and eat it right out of the shell.

I remember family trips to the beach. If you lived in New York City in the 80s and were of Puerto Rican descent, you may have spent some of those outings either at Orchard Beach or Los Siete Lagos.  The station wagon was packed with kids, all fighting to sit on the wheel well. As a younger sibling, there was a fat chance of getting that seat.  We spent the entire day at the beach from the morning to past dusk. The shopping cart was filled with aluminum pans of sandwiches, arroz con gandules and fried chicken wings. The cooler had our favorite Pathmark brand sodas.  Sis and I sported our sun-bleached “greñas” standing straight up like a spiky crown, so much so that we were called the Statue of Liberty. 

   

I remember the silly times we had at home, mostly because my two older siblings were always doing something fun.  My brother used to break dance with his friends, carrying a boom box and some cardboard. They both got to see Michael Jackson at Madison Square Garden and I remember being jealous I couldn’t go, too.  They used to chase each other around the apartment. Once they had an epic laundry-throwing fight that ended up with some clean underwear sailing right out the 14-floor window of our apartment and onto the front steps of the building.  When I innocently pointed out my mother’s underwear the next morning on the floor as we exited the building, she hushed me dangerously.

My mom, sister, and I used to try to exercise whenever there was a new fad. The Jane Fonda tapes. Richard Simmons’ Sweating to the Oldies. The Thighmaster!  If you don’t know what that is, look it up. Wild times, I promise.

Family birthday parties were epic. There were so many of us, it seemed. It’s burned in my memory how the party would really get going for us cousins when house music or freestyle came on.  The best part of the night was when my aunt and uncle would playfully fight over what music they were going to dance to. She always wanted salsa and he always insisted on merengue. Despite the playful banter, they always danced together no matter the genre.

What kid growing up in wintry weather didn’t appreciate a good snow day?  When school was cancelled, we couldn’t get dressed fast enough to get to the park.  I remember the snow mounds being as tall as me. We would head outside wrapped in so many layers, ready for what felt like hours of snowball fights, snow angels and snowmen. Yes, I tried to freeze a snowball at least once to hold on to the enjoyable day.

Original Photo of Seward Park Library as Pictured on CarpeCity.com

One of the best things my mom did for me was encourage a love of reading. She took us to the library often. I had my own library card and would go to the second floor where all the children’s books were. In my memory, the library was grand with a large wooden staircase and dark wood railing. My favorite books as a kid included The Little Golden Books (The Poky Little Puppy, to be exact), Dr. Seuss, and the Berenstain Bears.

This photo is Seward Park Library, my local library, as pictured on CarpeCity.com.

There are more good memories, but I’ll stop here.  I am encouraged by that fact that more do exist because the dark times seemed all-encompassing. When I feel the pain of the lost relationships or lament that some things that occurred can never be undone, I will remember what it feels like instead to pull out some cherished moments that brought levity. 

If you had challenges growing up, add any memories below that help you forget some of the pain you experienced.

9 thoughts on “It Wasn’t All Bad”

      1. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that picture of all us. So cute! And I don’t know how you fit on my lap! Lol ❤ We did have a lot of fun, happy times.

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  2. Thank you for allowing me to go back through memory lane growing up in the LES. While we all have unfortunately had our traumas having the memories we did with music, family events, siblings etc made it all worth it. Idk if you can agree, I just felt like we didn’t know which families had money or didn’t. We all were the same. Struggling parent(s) trying to put a meal on the table for their kids.

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      1. Thanks for sharing such lovely childhood memories. I can relate to a lot of what you shared. Family gatherings playing with siblings and cousins while the older folks would be talking and dancing. OMG LOL.. I definitely remember those exercise tapes! Those were the days when kids had fun playing with each other and playing with toys unlike now that kids are consumed with so much technology.

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      2. I’m glad I straddle both eras; before and after technology. Gives me an appreciation for simplicity and for all that we can accomplish now. But those exercise tapes: did everyone own them back then? LOL. “Aaand grapevine!”

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  3. Thank you for encouraging us to take a moment to reflect on the good things we all have experienced in life. They oftentimes go hand in hand with the bad and we shouldn’t allow one hand to dominate the other ❤️

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