Raíces: Rooted in Faith, Familia, and Friendship

What makes you unique?  Maybe you have a generous heart.  Perhaps you are quick with your jokes.  You might be a great encourager.

Or, you might snort when you laugh.  You might not read a room well. Who knows, maybe you are silent in group conversation but can hold your own one-on-one.

We all have evaluated things about ourselves and at one time or another decided they might be things we need to hide.  My guess is you are probably incorrect about it.  What does hiding your true self accomplish? Think about what makes you tick and weigh its worth.

For example, I tend to be talkative and maybe loud.  I like to have a good time in a crowd, but I also enjoy connecting on an individual basis. I thought of myself as a loyal friend because I know I love hard.  I used to think that made me great. 

Until I was in a space where I was hurt by someone I cared about and trusted.  This same person turned all my qualities around and made them seem negative.  I was told that I hovered over people and didn’t give them room to breathe.  That I made people feel that they needed to think how I thought.  I was accused of not letting people grow.  Finally, this person took all the negative thoughts they had of me (most of which were completely untrue) and made others believe it, too. 

This messed with my identity and my confidence.  I am deeply empathetic and the thought that I might have done something to someone I love, even unintentionally, caused me great pain.  My immediate reaction was to shut up all my personality and not expose anyone to me again.

The path to healing is not linear.  It is very often not finite, either.  Sometimes, healing continues for as long as your chest rises and falls. 

I have achieved so much healing from the incident I mention above.  Still, I realized that while I may no longer believe I’m a threat to anyone, I still hide a lot of me.  As I make new relationships, very few people have seen me in my most relaxed state.  Subconsciously, I’m concerned that I might be embarrassed or misunderstood. The last thing I want is for someone to want to know me and then regret it because they find me annoying.

When I realized this, it made me a little sad.  I’m not perfect!  I do have a strong personality. But at my stage in life, I believe I’m a pretty good person.  I deeply care about people’s journeys, and I try not to be judgmental. I’m always open to fixing my mistakes and learning new ways of doing things. If I’m asked for my opinion, it is my sincerest hope that I deliver it in the same way it is received – covered in love and grace.  Plus, I often make people laugh!

Honestly, I’m sure there will be times when people may end up not wanting to be around me.  Rachel – that’s okay!  They’re not your people.  They can still be good and worthy, but they’re not meant for your everyday.  Bless them on their way so they can find who they need.

Realizing that other people may be withholding their charm is heartbreaking.  In this life and in this world, we don’t need weak characters or carbon copies of some ridiculous ideals.  We need all the colors and flavors to be represented.  We need exposure to each other’s uniqueness. 

Please, be the fullest version of the “You” you know to be at whatever stage you are in.  Know that there is always more, too.  Never get tired of uncovering deeper levels of your heart and understanding.  Never stop learning!  Someone needs you right where you are in your life’s journey and you are too valuable to hide.

Be weird.  Be quirky. Be great.  Be visible.  Be loud.  Be vulnerable. Be funny. Be sunshine.

Reader Take Action: Be kind to you in this moment.  Consider something you like about yourself and list it below in the comments.