Raíces: Rooted in Faith, Familia, and Friendship

My husband Luis and I met when we were young, only 19 and 16 years old.  He grew up in a different neighborhood but found his way to my home church.  After a few months, we became a pair.  Lui and I didn’t know much of anything except that we enjoyed each other’s company. 

We were also bonded, even if subconsciously, by our similar circumstances.  We were both city kids in families that were financially limited. I had experienced the loss of a father the year before meeting him and he was barely two years out of that same loss. We were both smart with sarcastic senses of humor. We also held a seed of faith in our hearts that even when we were down and out, Jesus cared enough about us that He walked with us.

After over a year together, we found out that we were expecting our son.  We passed through the fears of disappointing our parents and what our new circumstances would mean.  Lui proposed to me, and we started our life together as husband and wife.

In those early years, there was intense love.  There were also intense mistakes and circumstances developed that should have meant the end of our relationship. We were navigating marriage, adulthood, parenthood and still living in the hood.  When I look back, there was such a mezcla of designs against us.  It is truly a wonder we survived.

At the peak of some of our heartache in our marriage around the 8^th year, we decided to leave New York and attempt a life in Florida.  Our previous efforts to move north had not come through so I tried it my husband’s way, as he always thought he would like the constant sunshine.

The next few years, we were able to experience enough calm that we started to unpack our various traumas, both from our childhoods and from our hurts in our marriage.  Things were not instantly better, but we gained some maturity.  There remained a constant awareness of how much we loved each other in our hearts, no matter what we faced.  No matter how much we failed each other.  This awareness grounded us.

We turned our energy to nourishing our bond and found that we could experience less friction if we practiced forgiveness. We took responsibility for our failures and worked hard not to repeat them, recognizing and eliminating seemingly harmless behavior that over time created openings for the enemy to wreak havoc.  

After putting in the work, we learned trust.  We created and experienced safety in each other’s presence and in our home.  Once we recognized that we could have that with each other, we protected it at all costs.  No one and no situation is worth losing this kind of peace.

Today, I have so much respect, love and adoration for my guy.  It’s been almost 30 years since we first laid eyes on each other.  It’s wild to simultaneously appreciate the one I saw back then for the first time and the current version of the man he is today.

Luis is a wonderful and dedicated father.  He loves our two children and has modeled affection and consistency to them.  He has always worked hard and provided, often taking on two jobs if we were in a bind.  I always said: Luis Maldonado is not afraid to do what he has to do so the finances are covered.

As a husband, he is grown into a man I never could have anticipated.  He is attentive and kind.  Funny and focused.  He has sacrificially cared for me through so many moments of sickness, never making me feel like a burden.  He has always championed my dreams of education, career and my personal pursuits.  He tells me I’m beautiful and makes me feel it.  He is proud of me and is very vocal about it.  He shows me respect and honors my input in our relationship.

This past week, we passed through something that is unfortunately a part of life.  His stepfather who raised him from 5 years old passed into glory.  It was fairly sudden and the experience not without its share of pain.  We are still processing the loss and are trying to recuperate from the physical and emotional exhaustion of the ordeal.

I chose to write about my husband this time because even at these low points, there is a heart of a lion that shines through.  While he is a strong leader in our family and wherever he goes, I am very protective of him.  His huge heart sometimes makes him vulnerable to mishandling by others.  But, no matter.  He has always been able to take care of himself and our Lord protects him better than I can.

My husband has shown me time and again that love really does conquer all.  I am so grateful to God for Lui and I pray that I can give to him during this time the unwavering support that he has given me.